Life was made, so that we lived it to the fullest...

I knew that, but inadvertably, I took the life, of a young kitten, who was so adorable so cute, who loved our family as much as we love it. But its life was ended just by the click of a button, and I was the one who clicked it. I know it's not my fault, I know that I couldn't have prevented it. But the fact remains, I killed it, the moment, i click on the stupid fucking remote control.

Which has made me think, if I had only parked my fucking car outside instead of in my parking lot. I would have shooed it away before clicking the button. Or if I had reacted quickly enough when I heard the awful screams of the little kitten, I could have prevented all that. There are so many what ifs and if onlys, but all that won't change the awful fact that the kitten died, right before me. It was such a painful scene I don't wish to put anyone who reads this to utter disgust. But all I can say is that it was excruciating having to see that, and its an image that won't be erased from my mind, ever. The very kitten that I had called "Mimi" has just been strangled, caught inbetween my automatic gates. I tried you know. I tried to pull the gates open as soon as i saw that poor Mimi was caught inbetween, and for that moment when I saw that he had gotten loose, I was happy momentarily. But what happened after, will just haunt me.

It hurts most knowing that this very kitten had trusted us enough to lay in our premises. It had obviously wanted to be taken in, since we've always been feeding it, petting it, playing with it. And all of it, now, just memories. And the poor kitten, barely even 3 mths is now no longer existent. And we had just seen it grow from a skinny, malnutritioned kitten, to a happy, contented, "mimi". We loved it so much, that my dad bought him a collar. He even shifted canals for crying out loud. He wanted to stay near us. And look what staying near us has done to it. I just feel soo terrible, so sorry for that kitten. I'm just feeling so lousy now. I really am. I'm so sorry for ending your life so quickly. I could never forgive myself for doing that. I'm really very sorry.......